R.I.P: JJD

We as photographers often use the marketing ploy that our photographs are timeless; keepsakes for life. Such is the case in my life at this very moment. These photos are part of a family portrait session that I did for my Aunt & Uncle late last year. Sadly, these are now memories of my cousin Josh and a time I (we) can only wish to have back again.

Music has always been a major part of my life. For me it's not just a beat, a melody, or noise. For me it's much more than that. I use it to lean on. It gets me through things. It gets me pumped, pushes me through rough times. It's how I deal, it's how I cope.

Josh played a pretty large role in my musical tastes having a sizable influence on me while I was young and impressionable (we're talking middle school). In fact, music is strongly tied to my memories with Josh. I can recall countless hours of listening to Metallica's Ride the Lightning album while out working for his parents driving around in "The Tank" shoveling snow. This included many arguments between Josh & Wayne comparing AC/DC's Hells Bells to Metallica's For Whom the Bell Tolls. Lets put that to rest now...there is no comparison. There was the introduction to Slayer on that drive to Sunday River. How about that time he decided to blast Motley Crue's In the Beginning out on the sun porch during a family event just to stir things up. There is also that final day of (free) spring skiing out at Sunday River. I was just a beginner and as luck would have it, only the toughest trails on the mountain remained open. I really didn't want to brave them but Josh insisted. He went so far as to even fire up the Walkman and fed me some lyrics from Metallica's Motorbreath:

Those people who tell you not to take chances
They are all missing on what life is about
You only live once so take hold of the chance
Don't end up like others the same song and dance

Needless to say we conquered the mountain that day. These are just a few of the many memories I myself have of Josh.





I shot this image at that low angle for a very specific reason. It's what I felt embodied Josh as a person. In my opinion he wanted to be empowered, looked up to. Well, now we have no choice but to look up at him since that is the only option he has left us with.

I'm pouring through the old music and reminiscing with what some would call depressing or even evil music. Not because it's depressing or evil at all, but because it helps. This is me dealing, this is me coping.

As I go back to the album that started it all and listen to Fade to Black, with the memories struggling to overcome the chills overtaking my body, my one wish is that Josh had chosen lyrics to live by rather than die by.